Posts Tagged ‘toddler’

The Bible: Mom and Son (age 6)

Mom: We are going to read the Bible.

Son: I hate the Bible. Wait. What’s the Bible?

Mom: The Book that teaches us about God!

Son (Fist pumping): I LOVE THE BIBLE!!!!

My mother never told me:

I was the reason my dad was bald.

And my kids are the reason for my husbands.

It’s a vicious cycle.

My mother never told me.

The “terrible twos” start at 14 months.

My mother never told me:

Kids don’t understand “knock it off” or “stop”,

until you raise your voice and threaten their lives.

Or take away their electronics.

Which to them is about the same thing.

My mother never told me:

When a child asks, “Can I have a drink?” from your cup/can/bottle, kiss the whole thing good bye.

You aren’t getting that sucker back.

And if by some small miracle you do get it back, you aren’t going to want it.

My mother never told me…….

Kids will figure out that if they can make you laugh while you are mad, they won’t get in as much trouble.

Suddenly you have a house full of comedians.

My mother never told me,

If you buy a puppy for a 6 year old, it may never walk again.

The puppy, not the kid.

My mother never told me:

Never let your toddler walk in on you changing clothes.

They are brutally honest.

Emphasis on ‘brutally.’

My mother never told me:

My kids will always be cuter then the kids next to them.

With better personality!

Hard at Work!

Thank you for everyone who has been supporting me. It means so much to me. I am not slacking, I promise! I have been hard at work writing a series of picture books for children. The “So Weird” series, about families, is something I am very much excited about. I continue to write “My Mother Never Told Me” and “Funny Things Our Kids Say”. So please continue to send me your good ones. It really does keep me motivated! Much love to you all.