Posts Tagged ‘funny’

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The Bible: Mom and Son (age 6)


Mom: We are going to read the Bible.

Son: I hate the Bible. Wait. What’s the Bible?

Mom: The Book that teaches us about God!

Son (Fist pumping): I LOVE THE BIBLE!!!!

Anon kid- 11 years old…


(After dad told him to check if the door is open…)

Dad: What took you so long?

Kid: I had to open the door to check.

My mother never told me:


I was the reason my dad was bald.

And my kids are the reason for my husbands.

It’s a vicious cycle.

My mother never told me.


The “terrible twos” start at 14 months.

My mother never told me:


Kids will eat ice cream and candy until they get sick.
And get sick until they don’t have to eat vegetables.

My mother never told me:


Kids don’t understand “knock it off” or “stop”,

until you raise your voice and threaten their lives.

Or take away their electronics.

Which to them is about the same thing.