My mother never told me:

Never let your toddler walk in on you changing clothes.

They are brutally honest.

Emphasis on ‘brutally.’

My mother never told me…

Kids like to wipe boogers on the walls.

My mother never told me:

If you have more then 2 or 3 kids, people will make rude comments to you which they think are witty, funny, or they just didn’t think at all.

These include:

• Don’t you know how that happens?
• You don’t own  a TV?
• Are they all yours?

My mother never told me:

The first time you have your child do dishes by hand, explain to that child: They need to use a sponge and soap. Not just their hand.

My mother never told me

I might poop during childbirth.

In front of my husband, possibly family, and a room full of strangers.

And it wouldn’t be the grossest thing to come out of my body that day.

And I won’t care.

My mother never told me

Kids will yell words that will embarrass me. Like poop and fart. In quiet places. Like the library. Or church.