My mother never told me:

Never let your toddler walk in on you changing clothes.

They are brutally honest.

Emphasis on ‘brutally.’

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My mother never told me…

Kids like to wipe boogers on the walls.

My mother never told me:

If you have more then 2 or 3 kids, people will make rude comments to you which they think are witty, funny, or they just didn’t think at all.

These include:

• Don’t you know how that happens?
• You don’t own  a TV?
• Are they all yours?

My mother never told me:

The first time you have your child do dishes by hand, explain to that child: They need to use a sponge and soap. Not just their hand.

My mother never told me

I might poop during childbirth.

In front of my husband, possibly family, and a room full of strangers.

And it wouldn’t be the grossest thing to come out of my body that day.

And I won’t care.

My mother never told me

Kids will yell words that will embarrass me. Like poop and fart. In quiet places. Like the library. Or church.